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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960912">I am Nothing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/frumious_bandersnatch/pseuds/frumious_bandersnatch'>frumious_bandersnatch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Michifer - Freeform, Sad!Lucifer, Suicide, thats a lot of damage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:53:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/frumious_bandersnatch/pseuds/frumious_bandersnatch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>First time writing Michifer and it’s angst. Go figure. Let me know what you liked, and what I can do better next time!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>past Michael/Lucifer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I am Nothing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The night was beautiful. The sky was as blue as the deepest sea, and if you squinted you could almost imagine the stars were swimming just like the beasts that frequented those depths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer was cold. He always was, but with his true form straining through the frayed sack of his chosen body it seemed to be even more so now. The concrete around him had cracked and was covered in frost, iridescent in the starlight with beautiful patterns on each leaf-like tendril. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked down and watched as the flesh of his vessel’s arm split, and blood dripped to the ground, each droplet freezing in midair and landing with a small clatter. He watched all of this absentmindedly, eyes blank. A legion would be coming soon, for him. He needed to feed, to keep this vessel strong. If only Sam saw what he was doing to him, maybe he’d finally say yes and it would all be over. Lucifer just wanted it to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stiffened when he heard a triplet pair of wingbeats behind him and bowed his head slightly, before letting out a soft breath as his eyes flashed a brilliant scarlet. “Oh, Michael…” He crooned, rising to his feet and listening as Nick’s bones creaked even with the effort of that. He could almost hear his brother grimace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Why have you come to see me all alone?” He turned around and stumbled slightly as...something broke. Maybe it was his femur. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, as the weight of his true self became more and more real, forced onto the same plane as his stupid, good for nothing vessel. He grinned, teeth gleaming white as blood dropped from split lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lucifer?” Michael almost couldn’t believe it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That </span>
  </em>
  <span>was his brother. “What...I don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer laughed, a rough, gurgling sound before he started coughing, wiping at his mouth with distaste. “Have you come to mock me? That I can’t even take care of this second-rate ape?” He spread his arms. “Well, here I am. Go ahead- why don’t we finish it here? Why wait for Stull, I’m dying anyways.” He spat, shuddering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came to see you again.” Michael puzzled. “I don’t want to kill you, Lucifer.” He admitted quietly, and flinched as Lucifer chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Lucifer spread his wings, once as magnificent as the dawn, and Michael took a terrified step back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feathers were falling out in clumps, either blackened by soot or stained red by blood. The flesh was shredded in some places, and covered in scars in others. “What happened to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer clenched his jaw. “You. You did this to me.” He growled. “Don’t you remember? Or did you not care enough to keep in mind what you did?” He lurched forwards and gripped Michael’s neck in one hand, shaking. He lifted his older brother, and delighted when he didn’t struggle, eyes glistening with sadistic glee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael swallowed around it, gripping Lucifer’s wrist with two hands and kicking his legs lightly. “I didn’t- didn’t do this to you, Luce-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that!” The switch in Lucifer’s mood to anger was instant as he bellowed, throwing Michael against the wall of the nearby building, long since abandoned. “You don’t have the right, you can’t-“ He snarled, back hunched as he looked like a scared animal. “You lost that right when you cast me out. When you drove your spear through my heart. I’m decaying, it’s not just my vessel that’s falling apart.” He said bitterly, watching his brother fall to the ground with a groan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s killing me. If you didn’t want to take my life, you shouldn’t have cast me out!” Lucifer spread his arms again, grinning maniacally. “I’ll be dead within the year. Doesn’t that make you happy, Mikey? Big bro? Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael stood, eyes wide. “But father- this isn’t what I want, I don’t want this. Lucifer, you’re my brother. I’ve always cared for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But He what? Gave you a shiny new toy without an instruction manual and told you to get rid of me. And you did.” Lucifer huffed sardonically. “I’m not your brother. I’m not your lover, I’m not your mate, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” And that’s what he’d been told, every day for eons. It wasn’t enough that he had to watch himself wither away, locked in a godforsaken Cage, but it had to speak to him. To remind him that he wasn’t an angel, that he wasn’t his father’s child, that he would remain unloved and unmourned for all eternity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lucifer shook his head, dropping his blade to his hand. “Sure it is. Why wouldn’t it be, you said it yourself.” Or was that memory not real? He didn’t bother trying to tell any more. “Have a nice life, Mikey.” He fell back and thumped wetly against the ground, his own archangel blade shoved under his ribs and straight into his heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Michael screamed.</span>
</p>
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